Umbrella Days

It rained on me during my walk to work this morning and it rained on me again during the walk back home. As I write this in the evening, looking out of the window, it is sluicing down outside. With the weather set in the current pattern I guess it would be sensible to start using an umbrella, but I really can't see myself doing that.

I've never been one to carry an umbrella. I've flirted with the notion a few times but always managed to lose the darned thing before I ever grew accustomed to the habit. As a result, it's never become part of my self-image. It's a silly thing, but I would feel very self-conscious holding one. It just doesn't fit with how I see myself. It would send out the wrong message.

Some people seem entirely comfortable with dressing up and assuming a different persona. I've never been like that. I feel uncomfortable simply wearing a suit. Once again, it doesn't fit with how I see myself and how I wish others to see me. It's such a strong feeling that in my previous business, after we'd had a few million pounds of venture capital investment and acquired various executives and accountants on the board, I still attended board meetings in shorts and T-shirt! It didn't go down too well, but I felt far more comfortable as the black sheep than I would ever have done by conforming. Needless to say, I didn't last too long in that environment. Mind you, neither did the suits. They quickly managed to run through all the money in the midst of dotcom madness. Perhaps if they'd have adopted shorts and T-shirts too they might have had a better grip on reality!

But to get back to umbrellas, part of my resistance is the simple fact that they are dangerous. I think you should have to pass a test and get a license in order to use one. It might be down to my modest stature, but the pointy bits always seem to be right at my eye level. And you would think that with the amount of rain we've had people would have acquired some kind of spatial awareness when using one. But no, people walk past you with no sense that they take up more space when holding an umbrella. I've been tempted to go down holding my eye like a premiership footballer, but I have more pride than that. The most infuriating thing is when you get struck and it's not even raining!

Gosh, I do believe I've had a little rant. I wonder if that Rantmeister Withers will be impressed?