60...

I wanted to sleep in so bad this morning. Blackberry started buzzing early...took a look at my calendar...ugh, who schedules 8am meetings on a Friday. Seriously. Oh yeah, gets better...temp indicator in my car read negative 12 as I pulled out of the garage. I've never seen a negative number on there! My tire pressure indicator light also came on tonight (tires were very low on air)...my car horn is even frozen...it sounds so funny. And my skid protection feature has been used a lot today! Just kind of kicks in and prevents the car from sliding all over the place - I think all cars should have it. Its brutal out there.

Talked to my friend in NYC last night...he gave me a call to figure out what we are doing this weekend. We caught up - he sounds happy. I am looking forward to getting out and about photographing with him. Phil is also excited. He is exhausted I think...his Skype status said "trying to figure out how to clone myself." He is keeping up with me though ;) Phil wants to go see all of these places that he has seen on the Food Network...haha! I'll play along ;) I just can't wait to go to MOMA! I love that place. Taking my big luggage with me...I'm sure I'll be coming home with a few things.

Had lunch w/ my friend Tera...just catching up with each other. We got to talking about people who are self destructive. The therapist I've been talking to put it plain and simple...it's typically a characteristic of a person who has a high self esteem...HUGE inflated ego and very low self respect. Self esteem and self respect are totally two different things. Mix the high self esteem and low self respect and you get a person who is self destructive. Add anger and depression in there...maybe drugs...and you get a person with a false sense of reality...someone who pushes everyone they love to the curb because they don't fit into their "new" reality anymore. It just all makes sense now.

I'm so ready to move on and find someone who deserves me. Someone good...someone emotionally stable - responsible - respectful - loving - faithful... just the basics. Noah's made it very easy to walk away from him. Seeing that different side of him - may not be who he really is deep down inside, but it is who he is right now. I miss the old Noah...the loving, funny, devoted, focused, passionate, amazing Noah. He was more than enough for me and so worth it. Key word...WAS. I don't know who he has become. I don't think he does either...but it's his journey, his decisions, his life...his lessons. Still love him, miss him more than ever...but the old Noah. I've cut off all contact...if he really needs me he knows how to get a hold of me.

On a totally different note...chemistry just rocks...that animalistic attraction...that feeling when you look at someone and they look at you the same way and you know exactly what they're thinking...feeling...that's pretty damn awesome! I haven't felt it in a long time-it's slowly surfacing. When you have it, you just have it, you can't force it to happen, trust me, I know that firsthand. And it obviously never goes away. I'm definitely not ready for anything new, but a lot has changed in the last 3 years with him. But so much hasn't. It's kind of taking me by surprise. Feelings and all. It's not a bad thing, but I need some time to sort some stuff out...making progress...slowly ;)


Heading to bed...will pack tomorrow early morning. Hope everyone has a great weekend! Boston pics are up...food shots are on page 3 ;)

And todays blip is a shot of a wall...manipulated via many PS filters :)