Chez Jacinda

My Dear Fellows & Princess Normal,

I haven't talked much about NZ politics. And this, despite the fact that there was an actual General Election just two weeks after we arrived.

In the months leading up to our emigration I had been looking at the opinion polls. They were kind of like this:

National (centre right): A shoo-in. Just like Theresa May that time.
Labour (centre left):  No effing way. Give it up. Go home.

But that was before Jacinda. Halfway through the campaign she was made the new leader of Labour. She has this image as a youthful leader with an adorable gummy smile. You may think I am being patronising. Let me remind you that her opponents referred to her spreading "stardust" onto Labour's campaign.

It wasn't quite enough. On election night, the National Party got more in terms of percentage votes than Labour. But, NZ is not some silly archaic first-past-the-post country. They have a voting system called MMP here which means that some parties which didn't win actual seats still got places in parliament.

And that threw the cat amongst the political pigeons. Because National didn't have enough seats for a majority.

(Just like Theresa May that time!)

So then there were a few weeks of political horse-trading. The two parties who could swing it were:

The Greens (left wing): I would have voted for them if I could.
New Zealand First (grumpy): This party is lead by Winston Peters. His posters said simply, "Had Enough?" and his political message seemed to be muddy to say the least. Although he did seem to have appeal for crabby old people if that sounds familiar.

There are some other parties in NZ too. Most notably:

The Maori Party (also left wing): Despite their policies they've been supporting National for the past 8 years, which appeared to cost them as their voters defected to Labour and they got such a low percentage of the vote they had no seats in parliament whatsoever.
The Opportunity Party (bonkers): One of those cult-of-personality type parties. Lead by Gareth Morgan who would like to be NZ's equivalent of President Honey-Boo-Boo. He recently sacked a member of his own party for being "a pain in the @rse". Fortunately his party also failed to make the cut.

This left National in a position where they could make a pact with either Winston OR The Greens. But they had little in common with The Greens and Winston was apparently power-hungry and unstable. TV pundits said things like, "Well I wouldn't make a deal with him to mow my lawn."

I got the impression that Winston was considered like the political equivalent of a whoopie cushion who would FART loudly whenever the Prime Minister he supported sat down, making their lives difficult and embarrassing for the next 4 years. Assuming the deal even lasted that long.

Meanwhile, things were more complicated for Labour. To gain power they would have to make a deal with both Greens and Winston.

I'm not going to say the nation held its breath. It's more like the nation rolled its eyes as the talks went on and on and ON with Winston over who he would throw his votes behind.

The New Zealand morning news show started playing the "What's it gonna be boy???" bit from "Paradise By The Dashboard Light" every time Winston's name came up.

And I'm starting to like New Zealand politics by this point.

Anyway. The big day of the big announcement arrived. It was a Labour-Green-Winston alliance, meaning that Stardust Lil was our new Prime Minister. I was very happy. After Brexit and Honey-Boo-Boo, I was sick of smug right-wingers claiming to be the The Voice of the People and Not Vladimir Putin and His Army of Internet Trolls At All Honestly.

Admittedly, it was a compromised victory, but a victory nonetheless.

But maybe I shouldn't let the bitter experience of acrimonious UK (and US) politics influence me too much. It's a false equivalence to assume that National=Conservatives=Republicans. New Zealand is a pretty progressive country and the politics of Boris and Boo-Boo would be looked upon askance here.

Not only that, but Labour has adopted some anti-immigration policies, which is one of the reasons Winston supports them. They're now attempting to implement policies to prevent foreigners buying property here. In theory to halt the spiralling house prices from which New Zealand is suffering, but which - in practice - will have eff all effect. Other than to mollify crabby old people that Things Are Being Done.

But hey. I still think Labour will be better for the economy long-term than National. They are going to engage in a major house-building programme, and are looking to do something about income inequality too.

The upshot of al this is that I feel like I'm still very much learning when it comes to NZ politics. The National Party say things I actually agree with sometimes. Labour have some policies I dislike. But on the whole I am happy with the result. It's good to see some Greens in government.

But I guess the main thing I like is that (with the exception of The Opportunity Party) things seem polite and agreeable in politics here. There's no screaming Daily Mail headlines or people chanting for the opposition leader to be locked up. That in itself is a massive relief.

And then there's Jacinda. I went to see her today. I thought I would take a tour around parliament in my lunch hour, only to find the tour was booked solid.

Oh well, maybe I will get her stardust sprinkled on me some other lunchtime. And if I see Gareth Morgan, I'll keep on walking. But now it's time for a sit-down...

FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAART!

Damn you Winston!

S.