Good Grief 328

Went to visit the chaps.
It seemed like ages since I'd been and am a bit taken aback to realise it was July although I've been doing my walking the line nearby on and off.
Last time I swam. This time it was bleak and cold but a rather comforting silence of sorts. Sometimes it can be like walking in white space ... whatever that means. I walked on a bit further, drawn in. I went on to where I would go when I was on a day off from work in my 20's. On hot days I'd wander, dip and read a bit. A place I was guaranteed never to see a soul in spite of the crowds just a short distance away and yet another world. I would have no idea I'd be here 30 years on wondering what had happened.

I'd been listening to Naomi Klein on Desert Island Discs and wondered at the engagement with the world and life. And then having a child at 42 and clearly so deeply connected that the shared disc with her child (Paul Simon - the disc, not the child) is the one disc that is saved over all the others. I know I can have a 'healthy' inner critic but not without good reason; there is much to criticise, not least the incapacity to engage and connect more fully, or at all. So often I have been struck by the word 'barren'.