I BET NIGELLA...

...never has to contend with someone who decides to make a mealworm-and-dripping bird feast, using her milk pan and MOST FAVOURITE WOODEN SPOON, just as she's trying to waft about the kitchen preparing food for the Christmas bunfight tonight. I'd just like to see her trilling about how wonderfully relaxing it all is, while cleaning up melted fat and soggy worms from the floor and cupboard handles and failing to adequately praise the somewhat hurt and hard-done-by culprit.