Be afraid, be very afraid.

We await a delivery from BT that must be signed for. Parcel Force have been entrusted with the task of getting it from the South to the North of the nation and were meant to deliver it on Tuesday between the hours of 7 and 6 but didn't. They failed again on Wednesday and likewise on Thursday. After a pleasant chat with them they promised that it would most definitely arrive today, before Noon. Did it, of course it damned well didn't!

The ancient Gods in the depth of the spirit house have been put on to the case and are plotting the most terrible fate possible for Parcel Farce.