Goodbye

Mum's funeral was today.  This photo was taken outside Mum and Dad's house waiting for the cars to take us to the crematorium - you need to zoom in to see the photo bomber - I was delighted with it and Mum would have been too.  

Such a lot of emotions today - below I have posted my tribute to Mum in the interests of record keeping.  Thank you to my fantastic family and friends that have helped me through these very difficult last few weeks.

Remembering Mum
Remembering our Mum in these last weeks has felt for Becca, Sarah and I like wiping the mist from a window.  Mum has gradually been disappearing behind that mist for the last 12 years.

But the Mum we remember in happier and more feisty times was:

- An educator - we remember making up poems to the rhythm of the train, or when looking out of the window, she encouraged us to say what we could see. 
 
·      She loved that we all played musical instruments and that we’ve passed this on to her grand-children too
 
·      An encourager - from discussing and supporting our choices to downright bribery with sweets when necessary
 
·      Unconventional, she inspired in us early independence and adventure.  She argued for me to spend Grampa’s inheritance money on travelling rather than a deposit on a house
 
·      She was a listener, my confidante:  I told her my secrets
 
·      We had loads of pets over the years, including lambs in the school summer holiday and eventually Bilbo the goat.  Bilbo liked to go for walks and Mum was  delighted by the fact that our taking the goat for a walk on the golf course caused uproar in the committee.
 
·      At home: Mum never minded noise and was messy, but never with her appearance
 
·      She was decider, not a negotiator and her view on how to bring up children was made very clear to us.  After watching our efforts she was wise enough, eventually, not to volunteer parenting advice…
 
·      In our teenage years:  house rules were ‘no boys in bedrooms’ – end of …
 
·      She was uninterested in cooking, apart from Sunday lunch which was characterised by lots of chat and wine, especially, after Dad had sloped off to watch the sport on TV

·      And on a related note, a less than splendid picnic maker.  When on holiday with the Bolton’s we would look enviously over to the cold chicken legs & delicious dips as we forced down our egg sandwiches…. again.

·      She taught us that manners were important, as was treating everyone kindly
 
·      She was loyal, with strong female friendships
 
·      She was curious: and once shared a joint with me (just the one) - we puffed the smoke out of her bedroom window one evening when the rest of the family were out.
 
·      She generously allowed us to borrow her car – as long as THE CAR was home by 11.00pm… (a stroke of genius)
 
·        A cheese and onion pie maker.  Pies were produced in volume for party occasions.  One Christmas Eve it gave Gordon Lees appendicitis, or so he says.
 
·      We remember raucous Christmas Days spent with adored sister Shirley and the Stonebridge family.  Just like an all-day Sunday lunch but with cousins and games, most notably ‘A Question of Scruples’.  Those we’ve played it with, like our other cousins the Jones boys will remember it as being provocative and causing outrage and arguments – so, an ideal choice for the two opinionated Holden sisters.
 
·      She made angels with us in the snow in the bunkers on the golf course (I suspect that was even worse rule-breaking than walking a goat – but what memories it made for us)
 
·      She was so proud to be doing her teaching job, and she loved her colleagues and the children
 
·      She didn’t ‘fuss’ and had a no-nonsense approach to illness.  We were made very aware of the hassle it would cause if Mum had to cancel teaching to look after us, so we rarely had the nerve to be ill on a school day.
 
·      She was our moral compass – Mum was not afraid to disagree with everyone in the room, and frequently did
 
·      She was a dancer-around-the-kitchen, and a silk scarf twirler with her grandchildren
      
·      An eye roller and flirtatious shoulder shaker – gestures that never left her even at the end

- We know and we always felt, even when she could no longer say it, that our Mum loved us and was really proud of us.