Good Grief 336

Christmas no.6 over and done with.
Probably the easiest one so far.
First two spent working at Crisis.
Third and fourth in the care in the home with parents fading.
Fifth hiding at home on my own.
And now, the sixth, on my own at mum and dad's, with them both gone now but with a slightly shambolic mix of siblings to-ing and fro-ing.

I have felt easier 'just being' this year. I haven't had to put that huge energy into trying to be what I don't feel. It is neither good nor bad, neither happy or sad. It just moves with the wind and tide and the play of light and dark.

The wifi and signal is as dodgy as ever here but curiously I picked up my phone to send a text and up popped the last text from my husband from the hospital, quoting from the ee cummings poem that he read at our wedding...

'Not as much as i u xxx more deeper than forget xxx'

Logic tells me I just pressed the button wrong on my phone (which I never normally do) ... magical thinking tells me something else.