This is NOT my 700th blip

Every morning I wake up to the clock radio - and quite honestly, I often feel like staying in bed.
I think the problem is that I tune it into Radio 4, so I get the "Today" program and wake-up to tales of doom and destruction, bankruptcy, crisis, knife-crime, fraud, rubbish welfare services. even the sport at 7:28 is usually full of problems with one England team or another, or overpaid football agents, or frozen racecourses.

There is nothing more annoying than listening to some bumptious arrogant politician with whistling teeth, a lisp and an attitude problem trotting out meaningles platitudes whilst the interviewing John wossisname has a furious fit.

There's never a single laugh in it. Even the weather forecast is dire.

So instead of quivering under the bedcovers in the morning worrying about whether the cash-machines will run out of money or whether my pension is worthless, perhaps I should just tune into another program. What though?

Alternatively, I could not listen to it by jumping straight out of bed and diving into the shower and actually get up on time...

Nah.