held

I pulled a college study trick and took myself out to grade papers trusting that fewer distractions exist away from home. The result was productive... and provoking.

The spot I chose was filling with women when I arrived. Because the shop is small, and so is our community, I was privy to this business women's monthly meeting featuring a guest speaker from a local organization which supports women and children who are victims of domestic abuse.

Even though I sat outside of the circle of women endeavoring to complete a stack of work, and this was not the sound track I'd expected, I listened.

I learned.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. The presenter explained what this particular kind abuse looks like, the complications of preventing, reporting, and prosecuting it as well as recovering from it. She taught us that most domestic violence goes unreported, that patterns of abuse can become normalized by the environment in which women grow up, that Herculean strength and courage is required from those who confront their abusers and seek support, that often abuse from boyfriends in high school imprints so deeply that victims are set off on a trajectory to repeat the beliefs and patterns learned throughout their lives.

The speaker asked us to make sisters of these women and show them their power individually and collectively. She suggested that sometimes the best support we can offer is to simply come beside the women in our lives, one another, and listen, communicating trust, awareness, self-respect, and unconditional love- qualities often eroded away by abusers.

For whatever reason, I chose this shop on this evening. Due to whichever forces, this was the message I experienced. Due to whichever societal influences, domestic abuse creates more victims than we know.

More victims than we know.

Like this tiny succulent, perched on its tiny poached egg pedestal, trapped under glass, we don't ever know what it is like to be in there until we are. But, abuse isn't something we have to experience in order to know it should have no place in our lives - not as people, not as communities, not as a society. Why would we allow anyone to hurt women, mothers...their children?

We need to take the lid off and hold women and children to the sky, the sun, the rain, the fresh, clean air. Nourish them. That is what these businesswomen had gathered to discuss and take action on. I was so proud to be a part of our community tonight - even from my peripheral spot in the room. I'm
a part of the sisterhood, and a protector of it. We all are.

Just walking down the street, we don't really know what our sidewalk mates are experiencing. But, we're in it together. Why not accept and be moved by this? Moved to compassion. Moved to attend a civic meetings addressing needs like these. Moved to draw near when a couple fights in the parking lot, at the market, next door. Moved to ask, "Is everyone all right?" Because even if they lie, the underlying message is that this community is watching, concerned, involved. Because we are. When victims need support, the resources of all of us answer the need. We hold one another. We have to.

I pulled a study trick tonight...and it made all the difference. Fewer distractions away from home? Maybe not. But a focus? Provokingly, yes.