From The Depths

My Dear Fellows & Dear Princess,

Today's picture is a manhole cover. But I really like it. I've noticed that Wellington Council employs a kind of "Curly Flats" motif on nearly everything from litter bins to street bollards. It makes the mundane enjoyable. 

And a manhole cover seems appropriate for today. Why? I shall explain - 

I had a headache this morning and consequently couldn't be @rsed working. Fortunately, something VERY WEIRD happened. This time last week I was trying to write a poem for Princess Normal's birthday and had an idea which I couldn't get to work. So I threw it away.

But this morning, as I was rubbing my temples it POPPED BACK into my head, just about finished! It was like my subconscious had been doing my homework for me, and passed it back this morning with a cheery, "No problem!"

Nice. But WEIRD. But nice.

It's like that story about when Samuel Taylor Coleridge came up with "Kubla Khan" in a dream. Yes, my poem is exactly like one of Coleridge's ditties, now that I think on it.

Anyway, I did apply a bit of "conscious mind" wash-and-brush-up to it because my subconscious mind's effort was still a bit half-@rsed, but it is pretty much as it first arrived in my head. The result is below. 

A WARNING: Now then. The hyperlinks are not enn-ess-eff-double-yew as they say. They do not take you to rude images. But they will take you to places that describe things you may not want to have described AND YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO REMOVE THEM FROM YOUR BRAIN.

You have been warned.

S.

The Rude Princess
Princess Normal is quite rude
Her language can be somewhat crude
Containing images rather lewd
Involving folk dressed in the nude
Her meaning can't be misconstrued
On things that you can do with food
Or wool, if one is in the mood

One day while strolling by the brook
She chanced upon a floating duck
Came closer just to take a look
Stepped in a hole, all full of yuck
Got angry, for her foot was stuck
Shouted "n*b!" and "b*m!" and "*rse!" and "f***!"
And other words considered muck

One night while drinking in my flat
In strolled my faithful pussycat
She gave him a most playful pat
But pussy wasn't having that
He launched his kitty coup d'etat
Scratched her arm, and hissed and spat
So she called him "a ****ing tw**"

One day while standing in her punt - 

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I think I should stop there. You know where this is going. What's that? You want me to continue? Are you SURE? You people are TERRIBLE.

One day while standing in her punt 
She saw an albatross out front
Boating disaster was consequent
A boat passed by, and gave a shunt
She fell upon her fundament
Her bum cheeks sadly bore the brunt
And she said words that rhyme with "bunt"

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Phew

The Princess's words are rude it's true
Typically bawdy, sometimes blue
She speaks of things rude people do
Of pegs, trombones, glass tables too
Uses words I never knew
For ladies' parts oft hid from view
Like "foof", "vajayjay" and "hoo-hoo"
Regularly talks of wee and poo
And sometimes calls me from the loo!
I forgive her that and so should you
She's a best mate through and through
(And besides I use those same words too)