Today?  We'll, today's the biggest day for me in, like, forever.  Results consultation at 11am.

Last night, we decided to go to the pub for our dinner and to break the tension.  On the short walk up the road, I made a declaration that there would be no medical/hospital/illness chat.   And we managed it, we had a great time, the wine helped obviously.  

I woke at 4am, again, made promises to every deity and soon managed to get back off for a while somehow.  

The hospital and the car park were surprisingly quiet and we had less of a wait than recent times.  The notice board showed a different consultant on duty today; a Ms Courtney.  I have to admit I had a bad feeling when we entered the room to find five people there - three doctors and two nurses.   I immediately jumped to multiple conclusions about why they were there.   

Ms Courtney repeated my earlier results, as they all seem to, perhaps to ensure that's there's absolutely no misunderstanding.  She explained that I'd been given a CT scan to determine if there is any spread from the lymph glands or if it had perhaps started elsewhere ... Both negative!! 

She then set out my plan, surgery, chemotherapy and finally radiation.  If you'd told me three weeks ago that I'd be happy for these to be my best options, I would have considered you deranged.  Now?  I'm cock-a-hoop.  

The consultant offered me 12 March for surgery but I asked if it would make a difference to push back a week and she said no, it wouldn't.  We scheduled it so that she could do it, I just felt happier having someone I'd looked in the eye.   So, March 20 it is.  

It turned out that the 'extra' doctors were just observing.  Phew, fair put the wind up me though!

We returned home, strangely on cloud nine, and made calls to concerned family and friends.    We then went out for a walk in the sunshine with Tommy and found a woodland full of snowdrops.    We've now got one month of normality and I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders.  

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