Jasper

I made my first coffe at home today since Benedict's death. It was hard as he always appeared through the cat door when he heard the sound of the milk frother.

More tears over the vacuum cleaner and then I decided that I needed to do something. Grieve yes, but also start the process of finding the next cat.

Several fur children ago I learned that I didn't have to wait 6 or more months. I can grieve as another small furry one is welcomed and given the love and home they deserve. You don't replace them but rather offer another cat the chance of a good life and the opportunity to be the cat they are. It didn't need to happen today but I felt I needed to start the process.

Making that decision felt a lot better.

I met a friend in town at the Cats Protection League. We were shown a black and white kitten. It was cute but I didn't want a kitten.

I was shown a young male, a fluffy black and white arrangement that hissed when I picked him up. No connection there.

My helper was juggling other clients looking at cats and kittens. She took us into another room where a couple were bonding with a lovely wee tabby. This litter of 4 boys are being fostered at home by the helper assisting me at home. She'd brought them into work with her.

As she untangled the kittens she said all 3 tabbys were gone, just the black and white one remained. "I know you don't want a kitten but have a look at this little fellow".

And I did. I was intrigued by his paint job, splodges of black on white and the reverse. Then a strange thing happened. I suddenly noticed that the black isn't black but rather it's a black tabby - black with charcoal/brown markings. Very unusual and difficult to pick in this photo.

At the same time I felt an internal change, a knowing. Benedict was tabby with a white undercarriage and Wilson before him was black. I was holding the next one destined to be my cat.

He's not ready for home yet. The whole litter will be neutered on Tuesday. That's perfect timing. I need some more time to slowly accept and grieve. My grieving for Bene won't be over by next Friday when I bring him home. That will continue as I welcome this little fellow home. He'll be 11 weeks old when I bring him home.

So meet Jasper (currently named storm). Jasper means the bearer of treasure and I'm sure he'll be just that. It's also the name given to one of the 3 wise me. I guess I'm completing the trio - Wilson, Benedict, and Jasper.

Yes that's right, I didn't want a kitten ;-)