Big C

went to Big C, a supermarket, with my aunt in the afternoon. it's about the size of a regular Target back home, except they sell food inside. kind of like a Super Target but not as big. it's located inside of a mall-ish place. so if you're not happy with the generic Big C clothing brand, you can shop at Converse or whatever the other outlet stores are.

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kind of going through a midlife crisis kind of thing. i get daily email for job openings in Japan, and they make my heart ache every time i see them. i'm dying to go. ultimately, that's where i want to teach. but to make it past the first two months in Japan, i need around 5k of start up money. and that's one of the reasons i'm in Vietnam.

upon hearing the abundant teaching opportunities in Vietnam and the high pay and low living expenses, i thought it was the perfect place to work and save up money. it was the perfect stepping stone. except all that came crashing down when i learned that the abundant opportunities are only for caucasian. it was proven to be true when marlan got a job lead he didn't apply for, and my countless job applications never got a response.

my cousins took pity and allowed me to teach their private classes at my aunt's place. i enjoy teaching the classes but i hardly earn enough to save up.

marlan said i should stop the daily email from Japan job posting, but i need to see them everyday to remind myself that's what i need to work toward.

my current options are to find a job back home or in another country. most of my qualifications and experiences can probably get me a position in some sort of administration job back home, but i'd rather die than to work in another office. i promised never to put myself in that kind of working environment again. i was looking into other teaching opportunities abroad, but they all require some amount of start up money. China seems to require the least start up money at the moment.

sometimes i wonder if i'm shooting myself in the foot by being too picky. i know what i want and what i don't want. getting there proving to be a challenge. but i supposed if it's too easy it wouldn't be worth it.

i know i'll get to where i want to be one day, as long as i don't give up. just right now, it's mighty frustrating.