Pony and trap......

'Excuse me madam, is that a bag of carrots in yer hoof, or are you just pleased to see me? Haw haw haw....'

'Errr....no, it's a camera. Tell me, why is it that every time I wind my window down, one of your lot immediately looms up and invades my personal space. Why? Why?'

'Well it's your mane, innit. From a distance, it looks like a clump of hay.'

'Charming. And close up?'

'Nothing like hay. More like straw. You should use some of that 'nourishing' colour and conditioner, like wot I do....you'd never guess I'm not a natural redhead, would you?'

'Mmm....do you dye your whiskers too?'

'Whiskers? It's my beard love. I'm one of those hiphops....clipclops...flipflops...'

'Hipsters?'

'That's it. I'm a hipster. You probably saw me at Cheltenham last week.'

'I'm afraid not. Were you runnng?'

'All over the place. Carrots don't really agree with me. Haw haw haw....'