madchickenwoman

By Madchickenwoman

They're Back!

There have been sheep in the fields opposite all winter and I was beginning to think the farm had changed from dairy to meat. Today they appeared! I was gutted I missed them being let out and running for joy down the field - so comical and joyful!  They were not there when I woke up but an hour later there they were happily grazing! There is a wire restraining their grazing to one portion of the field. When I first came here and saw them all eating in a line I thought what organised cows they were!!!
 I had a little walk in the afternoon to mark the day after the hairdressers and Co-op in the morning. Oh gracious my bowels were squirly making me feel I was going to pass out. The size of my stomach in the evening totally alarmed me given that I'd only eaten a muesli bar all day - I looked 7 months on! Talk about a sluggish system. I'm coping ok emotionally with the physical feelings it gives me ( which interestingly do not feel like constipation - I'm well familiar with how that feels as have suffered with that from a child and young adult but less so as I got older )and am trying not to get anxious about what is causing it. I couldn't be having a healthier diet ( fruit, veg, chia seeds, kefir, nuts, grains and pulses,) and yoga exercise regime so am at a bit of a loss as to where to go from here. Ha! The irony since going is my problem!
 I have added another exercise routine, the 30 days abs challenge! I did it a few years ago and it was amazing the number of sit ups/ crunches / leg raises and length of planking I could do by the end of the month! 
I have decided to not worry about the cause until the 30 days of the abs challenge  is up, and if there has been no progress back to the damn Dr's I will go! It's the only source of anxiety for me and I really feel like it's a chicken and the egg sort of situation as to which came first, plus a Catch22 as to how to resolve it. If the anxiety wasn't there would my bowels be fine, but it's my bowels which are making me anxious! 
There is so much irony to this situation - the children I taught suffered badly with their digestive system being in wheelchairs and on lots of meds - toilet charts and poo diagnosis were my bread and butter, and vast amounts of  time were spent designing and doing the toilet rotas. Then there are the pets and all the clearing up after them, and don't even get me started on the hen coop cleaning! Finally there is Friend with her bowel cancer.  Oh what a tangle of psychological nuances - issues of blockages and holding on and letting go! I really don't think any of those apply anymore, if they ever did. Simply put ....I just want to go!!!! :-D

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