I tried

I was extremely happy last night which I figured wasn't going to last given the place I'm in. I tried to keep it up today and I think it's working so far?

I had an hour at University and asked a few questions that made my future revision way  less and easier, so that's a plus. Only 5 of us showed up so it felt a bit silly being there. I can imagine it'll be the same tomorrow but I refuse to tempt myself out of going!

I wore the necklace Richard got me and I love it, I'm so happy I have it and can't thank him enough. I was waiting home for a while for a parcel to be delivered and of course the delivery man appeared as I was in the bathroom. Had to quickly run and inform him I'd be a minute!

My parcel was a new date night dress, a tonne of stickers for my laptop and a little gift for my love, but he's not allowed it yet. 

I spent the day watching "Under The Dome" again to hopefully get it finished, it's so bad but I'm trapped withing the story. I only have four episodes left so I guess it isn't too bad. 

The only thing I've really done today is plaster my laptop in stickers and prepare a lasagne for later so there's not much for me to write about. 

I hope I can keep this mood up for at least one more day because I don't think i can handle the crappy sadness much more. 

I really miss my cat at the minute so I'm thinking of planning in a day next week to go visit my parents and also my little ginger, I can't wait for my work to be over so I don't have to plan things around my studying.

Nothing else to say today so I guess this is it! 

Update:
Under the Dome is finally over, which is good because it couldn't have gotten worse if it tried, it was honestly so bad. I'm definitely put off reading the book now.

Some pretty shitty stuff happened after my seminar today so guess who's miserableness has returned? Yup. Don't really know if I can even talk about it to anyone. I feel so disgusting, so angry and so embarrassed. So now I basically hate myself again. I feel disgusting today and really want to spend the rest of the day/night to myself away from everyone. I think Richard's drinking with either his workmates or University, I don't really remember which he said. But when he gets back I'm just going to send him away because I just need to get the feeling of being gross/ugly/dirty/vile out of my system. I think it's because of what happened earlier but I'm not at liberty to say it on here, that and I still enjoy having enough privacy in my life. I'm hoping to gain followers on here eventually so I'm making sure some things are kept off. 

I made the food but I chose not to eat it. My "disgusting" feeling is making me not want to eat or move or do anything else really so I guess that's exactly what I'll do. 

On the plus side, I haven't had one of my "episodes" since a few nights ago so I haven't had that adding on to my moods. All in all, I'm going to end it here with no more updates because I really want to be alone and typing on this feels like I'm talking to someone.