"I saw a coo, a bull, bigoad!"

"Come in, Eupheimia, are you there?"
"I'm here, Archie, I'm here."
"What's it like where you are, Euphemia?"
"It's lovely and green, Archie, you'd like it here."
"Are you in heaven, Euphemia?"
"No, I'm a coo in a field at Balfron."

One of my mother's gentle jokes