Continuum

It's hard to fathom there'll never really be a fixed.

I suppose the bone sawing work is now fixed, but as effectively the whole ankle is now new bone ends, realigned tendons, reattached ligaments, now the last 47 years count for naught and it has to learn afresh. Bone has to harden, nerves have to accept more pain as the cartliedge is gone, flesh must move in new ways.
Ive not been unfit in a decade, never really understood it, but clearly from the ache in my calves, the last two years have taken a toll.
I knew going and having a big day wouldn't be the test, doing it again relatively soon would be.
I need to be able to do this day after day after day. Just not yet.
Today's loop of Angle Tarn and it's Pikes took me close to the edge of my envelope, I was glad of a rest and the cold water of the Tarn, glad when up became down (though technically that's not exactly true, up remains far far easier and less painful than down).
But, and the buts are always where the truth lies, a day like today feeds the soul, and that counts for a lot. A few rest days are now called for, ahead of more actual work next week, but it's been a good test. This week marks seven months. The surgeon said months 0-3 I'd be convinced I'd made a mistake, 3-6 would be healing and questions, months 6-12 would be learning and answers. I've always been a fast learner, but maybe not this time.