Norman

I went for a walk and decided I would try and visit Norman at the Nursing home where Mum lived, after mum died just over year ago I thought I would visit Norman more but I just haven’t been able to face going back there, I did visit him soon after she died and we had a lovely chat in the garden and I have bumped into his daughter Julia a couple of times in the street and had long chats with her.
Norman was mums best friend in the home, they sat together at lunch and he always cheered her up and encouraged her to keep going, he is in his mid-90s, his stone deaf and has had both legs amputated, he is a staunch Quaker and an incredible person.

I went into the home and first went into the garden where Norman has raised flower beds which he tends to in his motorised wheelchair, Flambards looked like they needed some attention but it looked like someone had been weeding and gardening, I think the family would let me know if Norman had passed away but I wasn’t sure, I went upstairs and walked along the corridor past the television lounge, I looked inside and recognised Mary, Mary and Lillian always sat in the same chairs together watching television, I know that lovely Lilian passed away sometime ago And I was happy to see Mary sleeping in an armchair. Lillian and Mary always sat in the same chairs together I don’t notice that Mary was now in a different chair and two other old ladies were occupying the chairs where they used to sit.

I carried on along the corridor and passed mum‘s old room, number 69, the door was open but nobody was in there, it is now someone else’s room of course, the bed had been moved under the window and signs of somebody else’s life around the room, I didn’t dwell.

I passed the entrance to the dining room where I spent so much time, a distressing time watching my mother struggling to feed herself.

Carried on around the corner at the end of the corridor when Norman’s room is, he was in his chair with his back to the corridor, his daughter Julia was there and one of the carers who recognised me, Julia told me that Norman had been very ill and had almost died, he had been in hospital for six weeks with sepsis, he had had a pressure sore which had almost reached the bone, she’s said they were sure he was going to die and had planned his funeral but it bounced back and has been back at home for a month, he turned round in his chair and it was clear to me that he didn’t remember me, He apologised for being in my way so I haven’t been able to enter the room, I gesticulated that it was okay, then he said hello and took my hand and we held hands and they gave me a kiss on the cheek, I said to Julia “he doesn’t remember me”. She asked him who I was and he said it’s my neighbour, he asked after my husband and family but I felt like he still didn’t really remember me, Julia wrote down on his whiteboard that I was Lizzie’s daughter and he said I’ll tell Lizzie that you stopped by, Julia told Norman Lizzie was long gone and Norman said that he would Give her my love when he saw her.

I asked if Norman was going off to have tea and they said he was going back to bed so I left - tears in my eyes. I called my friend Sue (Sue L7) who was so kind to my mum and visited her a lot, Siri says she doesn’t think I should go back there again and that I am done with this now, know that Norman actually doesn’t remember me there is no point in going but I’m glad I went today., I hope his family let me know when it does pass away because I would like to go to the funeral if I am invited.

I spent couple of hours with Gulliver going through all his clothes, we got rid of three bin bags full of things he didn’t want from his room, he had some friends over them is themselves playing Tom watching TV et cetera.

I had a long walk and bought some groceries and when Max got back from photographing another wedding he made a lovely curry and we watched a movie.