Spreadable cheddar?

I was mainly raised by a working mum who didn't have much time or inclination for making food. So I had three or four basic meals: fish fingers and a tomato; a packet scotch egg and a tomato; pasta with a tin of tomatoes; and extra mild plastic-y cheddar chopped into cubes with bits of cucumber.

I go into Ann Arbor to visit Menlo - famous for its XP-inspired organisation, made public by Rich Sheridan’s book, Joy, Inc! Rich shows me round - it’s quite a place.

There’s no lounge at the airport. I go to Ruby Tuesday for lunch. My flight gets delayed by an hour and then cancelled. I plug in my earplugs and call American. They reroute me via Chicago - the wrong direction. Even so, I’ll arrive at Heathrow earlier than previously scheduled. And I get to keep my spacious seat.

I don’t get my special Asian vegetarian meal, though. Instead it’s the traditional American feeding call: “chicken or pasta?” I eat the spreadable cheddar on crackers and wash down a melatonin with red wine.