Straight From The Zebra's Mouth!

"We’re here at the England Squad’s training camp in Nze….. Nzch……. Nzzzz…….. Russia, ahead of their World Cup semi-final tie against Croatia tonight and speaking with England Head Coach Gareth Southgate.

 “Gareth, World Cup semi-final, much further than anyone ever thought the team would go…………………………why the long face?”

 “Ehh?”

 “Never mind, I understand that the squad were subjected to a random Dope Test carried out by FIFA officials yesterday, any problems arise?”

 “No just as we expected……..  half of them were quite bright, half of them were of average intelligence and the other half were as thick as sh*t!”

 “And ahead of the game do you have any injury worries? I hear that Jamie Vardy has been withdrawn from the squad after feeling a little hoarse?"

 “I don’t know how you heard about that but Jamie denies any relations with that Shetland Pony but obviously we need to suspend him pending an investigation by the relative authorities!”

 “Bummer! And how about you, how does Gareth Southgate relax and unwind from the stress and massive pressure heaped upon your shoulders at this prestigious completion, 1966 and all that?”

 “Well I like to slip into this, my favourite silk zebra print kimono, put on my pink kitten mules, sip pink gin and catch up on Loose Women on my ipad”

 “Oh……………………….and do you have any message for the fans back home or who’ve made it to Nze….. Nzch……. Nzzzz…….. Russia for the big game?”

 “Yeah…………………………… Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, Wild Wednesday folks!”

 “Thanks Gareth, best of luck tonight”

 “What’s that strange grinding noise?”

 “Just the English press sharpening their knives!”

 
Neka najbolja momčad pobijedi!

 
Thanks to Cailleach for resurrecting Wild Wednesday