Ground Control to Major Maw!

"What are you up to this weekend?" asks Bossman Keith as I was trying to escape from the office last night.

"Heading through to Wee Maw and Paw's tomorrow."

"Oh that's good, are they both well?"

"Aye both great but......"

"But...…..something wrong?"

"Their phone's been playing up and we're taking through a new one to set up."

"Oh no! Big buttons, easy to use, nothing complicated?"

"Aye, all of those and easy to set up."

"Red button?"

"No red button*"

"Phew...………………..but good luck, you'll need it!"

All went well...…………………..so far!

* A few years back the The African Nations football tournament was being covered via the BBC Red Button teletext service. I phoned Paw Broon to tell him the good news.

"The football is available via the BBC Red Button service."

"What's that?"

"Switch to a BBC channel, do you see the red button icon in the top right corner of the screen?"

"Aye!"

"Good, press the red button on your TV remote."

"It's gone!"

"Press it again."

"It's back!"

"Press the red button again"

"It's gone!"

"Again...…"

"Back.............."

This carries on for a few minutes without any football appearing and exasperation increasing on either end of the call before we realised that there were two red buttons on his remote, the teletext red button...……………….and the ON/OFF button!