Oh, pass me the Breville........

.......and maybe I'll get a bit of a 'wiggle' on......
(other brands of sandwich toasters and cooked tinned meat are available)
......so, 3 spam/scam phone calls in the course of half an hour over lunchtime, but unfortunately all were 'robotic' so I couldn't 'squeeze until it pops' on this occasion (aka wasting THEIR time so they're not scamming someone else) 
The firstborn tells me it's because I've now reached the dizzy heights of being in a 'vulnerable' demographic......which is a bit depressing ;-)

PS :: Come to think of it, that "Proper Spam User Guide" at the bottom of the tin is remarkably close to my usual modus operandi  when it comes to dealing with 'live' nuisance calls........