Am I really?

Who'd have guessed, eh? It even came as a surprise to me...

Reasons to be suspicious:
1 - I've managed to hold down a permanent job as well, for years now.
2 - The people around me at Goodison would surely be surprised if I suddenly appeared on the pitch.
3 - Why in hell don't I own an Aston Martin?
4 - My bank manager would love to know where my footballer's wages go to every month.
5 - Laura would love to know where my footballer's wages go to every month.
6 - Anybody that's ever seen me play football will know just how unlikely it is I'd look at home as a professional.

I actually won the T-shirt and book in a When Saturday Comes magazine competition. The Secret Footballer is a column in the Guardian, supposedly giving the inside story from a real life professional footballer.
I wonder what shocking secrets the book will reveal...