What we do in the shadows

This is what happens when you're a vampire. You have to watch everyone die. Your mother and father. All your friends. Sometimes brutal, like slipping and falling onto a giant spike. Or falling asleep in an autumn pile of leaves and having some of them block your windpipe. Or making the simple mistake of fashioning a mask out of crackers and being attacked by ducks, geese, swans

Angus arrives at Leadburn. I’ve cooked lamb and lentil soup for lunch and Claire has baked bread. But it’s time for Megan to head back to Glasgow - for the Sunday shift at the baths (nudists;).

Just before she leaves, she lands five days’ work barking for an antique cinema bus at the Edinburgh festival. That’ll mean a few journeys back and forth, but luckily Rachel has room in the colonies for her to crash.

The rain is off. Claire strims. Angus and I embark on the marathon task of clearing the packing shed. Then we watch a NZ mockumentary about vampires (and other undead) while the snake swallows a massive 150g rat. It looks like we’ve been underfeeding it for years.