Poo Bird - Bird Poo

My Dear Fellows & Dear Princess,

Spring is springing out all over. There are buds and flowers everywhere I look.

It is very jolly. It also means the tuis are going ba-NONKERS, high on all that new nectar. Their presence has been very noticeable lately.

"Ssshhh! Come here," said Cazza conspiratorially. "There's a tui in that tree!" She was staring out of the window.

I crept forward for a look but then... URGH WHAT THE HELL IS THAT STINK??

No, it wasn't Cazza, and shame on you, person who thought that. It was Punky. He was just hopping out of his cat box, looking relieved.

"Oh fer eff's sake!" I said. Cazza didn't care. She can't smell anything. Not ever. At times like these, it is like her superpower.

So I went and scooped the poo and flushed it, trying not to boke. There's something EVIL about Punkypoo. God knows what the little fellow does to brew them like that. As usual, he looked at me vaguely affronted, like I'm supposed to have his crap bronzed and put on the mantelpiece or something.

"Oh wow! Now there are two of them!" said Cazza. She was talking about tuis, not poops. I was just coming back when JESUS CHRIST JASPER, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?

Jasper was just coming out of the OTHER catbox. There was steam coming off whatever he'd deposited in there. 

"Are you two CONSPIRING AGAINST ME?" I asked. Only it came out as "codspiring againbst bee" because I was trying not to use my nose for anything.

"Now there's THREE of them!! Oh my god! And they are flying around the tree!" 

By the time I washed my hands and got back, it was all over, of course. Lucky me. I had to make do with turd-watching.

S.

p.s. If you were wondering, Manitoba LOVED "The Meg". She greeted me this morning by singing, "Oh Mickey you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind..."