Hello Autumn!

Well we seem to have hit autumn - even if it's not raining it's grey and gloomy! But I spent 4 hours chatting with Nellie of The Woods so it didn't get me down! Over Brunch and several coffees and teas we discussed families, the Autistic spectrum and Aspergers, relationships, truth and bluntness!  She has had 3 of her 6 sisters staying for a week and there were lots of family dynamics! 
I have difficulty with using the phrase " we are all on the Autistic spectrum." Many of the children I taught displayed behaviours that are seen in autistic children, it did not make them Autistic and was not a helpful overall diagnosis. I taught many children with Autism and there is a very defined teaching approach and environment required quite different to the one my children with Profound and Multiple learning Difficulties required. 
We had a long discussion on whether either of us were blunt or just truthful/open/honest. I don't believe either of us are blunt - which seems to me to have overtones of causing hurt because of it and not really caring or being self aware of doing so. We spoke of the difference of people asking ones opinion on an item of clothing, object, situation and wanting recognition and affirmation that they had a beautiful thing or were doing the right thing, to seeking counsel and advice. I remember a past friend commenting on my new kitchen rug and saying she was not sure red and pink went together - thats blunt! Particularly as I had not asked her opinion of it! Another friend asked me if a skirt she wanted to buy in a shop suited her - I thought it made her hips look like the back end of a barn, but could see she absolutely loved it and wanted it so said it was gorgeous! I had my hair coloured red once, but it came out more orange and I really didn't think it suited me - I called upon France Dwellers partner for his opinion, he was French and plain speaking, he told me it was horrendous and made me look cheap - I agreed! 
I wonder if ones country really does affect how one deals with such socially nuanced situations. The english are known for being polite I believe - which is fine in everyday life, but in close relationships I find it guarded and at times false. I guess it's a fine balance to walk, knowing when to be honest and when to blur the issue in order to be kind. Plus maybe our inability to counter people who are blunt due to our politeness doesn't help them to realise they are being blunt! 
Can you see why a coffee with Nellie takes 4 hours?!!
I spent the rest of the afternoon sorting through drawers - it's amazing how things I have hung onto for years are now easily slipping in to the bin or the charity shop bag!