Everything must go

Like everything that Mike Ashley gets his hands on Frasers is doomed to a future of getting just a little bit worse, year on year, as he works his ‘magic’. There are an awful lot of people I find myself despising these days - mainly members of our current ‘government’, but he is up there at the top.

It reminds me of the joke about Theresa May going to a primary school and asking the class to give her an example of a tragedy.

A small boy puts his hand up and suggests a child being knocked down by a car.

“No,” says Theresa, “that would just be an accident”.

A second child puts up her hand and suggests a school bus crash that resulted in several children being killed.

“Oh no,” says Theresa, “that would just be a great loss”.

There is a long pause and then the first boy puts his hand up again and suggests the entire cabinet being lost in a plane crash.

“That’s right,” says Theresa, “and do you know why that would be a tragedy?”

“Well,” says the boy, “it wouldn’t be a great loss, and I’m sure it wouldn’t be an accident either”.

The only thing that would improve the joke would be if the plane crashed into Mike Ashley’s helicopter.