A Funny Old Day

I was pretty pleased that somebody is making spiced quince jelly again this year...

It was truly a glorious sunny day today, once in which it was hard to tell if it was summer still or autumn. It's so cold every morning though it feels as if we have fast-forwarded to mid/late October already, which makes for deciding clothing a might tricky in the morning!

I had my final session with A tonight. I had been looking forward to it and dreading it in equal measure. It's hard to believe that after four (!) years she won't be there every week to listen to me, and I won't leave with those lovely euphoric feelings like I could do anything. I suppose in one sense you could say the poor woman has had her fill of listening to me every week for the last four years, and she probably could do with a breather ;-) 

We had a good chat, and whilst it's never a good time to say goodbye, it had to happen today. To put things into perspective, we will keep in touch, she has offered to help me with anything that I might need in terms of the course, and also invited me to come see her new boutique that she's opening. 

I'm not so good at expressing myself when I've a lot going on, but at the end she told me how she had loved working with me and that she was having just as hard a time letting go as I am. It's hard. I thought I would cry on the way home, but I didn't. I drove home in silence, just thinking, and I'm ok. Not feeling terrific- it's a bit scary to imagine not seeing her once a week, but I know it's not the end. I made her a card using some of my photos which by some miracle arrived in the post in time today! 

It'll take some time, but I "think" I'll be ok. I've done two weeks of the counselling course, and at the moment it all seems very confusing and hard to get my head around. The group seems nice, and I quite like the tutor, although it's hard to be the student again rather than the teacher ;-) I suspect I'll enjoy it more once we get into all the important stuff. Last week it was more of an orientation. The hardest thing for me, and lots of others, is the time of day. It's 6-9pm after a day of work, and it's hard to focus sometimes. I need to make sure I'm organised so I have time to eat and get there on time! 

In other news, I did receive an offer from my publisher on Friday. It came as a bit of a surprise, and I only found out on Friday afternoon before I had to go teach for two more hours! As my sidekick S said when I told her "I knew there was a reason Jesus fell off the wall this morning!" (our class crucifix unwittingly came crashing down whilst we were working earlier). 

However, on closer inspection, it's a 'contribution-based' deal- i.e.; I give them money and they'll pay me my money back plus profits every month! Um, no! So I've regrouped and made some more submissions. I need really to find an agent to take it on, rather than approaching publishers directly. So the journey continues. It just makes me realise I have to try harder and keep pushing. It will happen. 

I think JK Rowling had every door closed in her face before she published ;-)