Patrick Kimmons' partner and their baby

The Kimmons family organized another vigil tonight. Patrick Kimmons' three-year-old son was startled by the microphone thrust at him and his mother. He's not yet old enough to know what dead means.

Police killings of young Black men are so frequent in the USA, families know what to do when they happen. They order T-shirts for the immediate family. They decide on a hashtag (like #JusticeForPat). They rent a few battery-operated megaphones. Families who lost a child last year or the year before lead chants such as, "Black Lives Matter," or "Say His Name." They start a Go-Fund-Me to cover expenses of the funeral. They ask if anybody knows a lawyer. Friends, family, and people who care about Black lives bring candles, flowers, and signs. Some bring boxes of colored chalk so people can write messages in the street.   

Family spokespeople are designated. People hold out their hands to bless the family. Local commercial media bring video cameras and microphones. A few local photographers make photographs and post them on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or blogs. We do this to honor the dead, to honor the family, and to encourage others to join us in demanding an end to the killings. We wonder if change will ever come. Parents of Black sons fear for them.

We can't ignore the executions of our children who were in the wrong place at the wrong time when the police were on the prowl. Investigations grind slowly; the police are almost always vindicated. The cops who do the killing get paid "administrative leave" for between two weeks and a year. Paid vacation. We fear people are numb to the vigils, the photographs. We fear grieving families have become commonplace.

Our children are not commonplace. Our children are like yours: irreplaceable. 

Everyone knows how public grieving is done. Private grieving is harder. For many, it never ends. Nobody knows how to stop this from happening. We hope that if we keep protesting, and if we make our protests loud enough, if we vote for a new city council or a new mayor, something will change. We get no indication that change is going to come. We think about what else we can do. We fantasize about burning things down. Some say that won't help. What will? We ask ourselves.