Haven't Got A Curlew.....

Today, we had to call on the services of Mr Pickles....he of the large posterior and a fondness for lavatory based euphemisms....

Owing to a very damp basement (not a euphemism, by the way), the sink in our staff loo detached itself from the wall, and dashed itself to pieces on the concrete floor overnight.

Mr Pickles was summoned to help, and after sitting on my invoices for a while (doodling what appeared to be an emu) he shuffled off downstairs to inspect the gallons of water and the dead sink.

Eventually he reappeared, shaking his head sorrowfully.

"Well I've 'ad a look, princess," he said, "an' it's my opinion you've got a split whatnot an' a leaky fandango. Come an' 'ave a squint at me crack."

Reader....how could I resist!