sentimental

tonight was the first time i missed, i mean really missed, waco. i mostly just so badly want to meet benjamin daniel. i know theres time to see him, and i will. but he just got me thinking about everyone and everything. i just wanted to hug everyone in waco. tell them i love them and feel their skin against mine.

seeing pictures of benjamin made me think of all we had been in the past two years and all we have become. there are moments i desperately wish i could relive. i looked again at pictures from the pumpkin jam. we had a good thing then. there was joy and purity. i think. but of course our memories are whitewashed. i only want to remember the good. i know there was pain. but look how we all smiled. i think there was something pure.

id like to see their eyes. id like to see how deep they have become. to see their child sleeping in their arms. knowing life will not be the same. knowing this sacrificial love.

im so thankful. i have all i need and more than i could ask for. i have friends and fellowship. i have a place to call home. i have several places to call home. i think i really would be happy anywhere these days. i think i would have been sad anywhere last year. oh how we grow and learn.


so i love you. heather, maria, haley, daniel, benjamin, marianna, emily, reid, brandon, susan, and justin. thanks for teaching me of life and love. i will see you soon.

this photo more or less captures how i feel. and i also love the way rain looks on cobblestone at night. i love rain.