The Winner Takes It All

Dear Givers of Treats,

The Princess and I have a new game. She hides something in my food and I have to find it.

I am such a clever boy that I can still maintain the record for speed eating AND finding the little white pill. I leave it in the bowl to show her that I have won.

I got one in my mouth the other day but I managed to keep spitting until it came out and landed in my water bowl. There was NO way I was accidentally going to eat it. That would have spoiled the game.

She just shook her head as she cleared up the floor. She knew she was beaten and that I am the champion.

She is obviously a bad loser ‘FFS. WHY? YOU EVEN EAT SOCKS. Not sure what she means. Maybe she’ll hide a sock in my dinner tomorrow as a treat. I don’t like to complain because I am such a good boy, but she has been selfishly hiding them recently and I’m worried that she has a problem. I think she might be eating them when I go to bed.

M