2 years on .......

Today is a very special day for me............

2 years ago this weekend I found myself on my own in a rented house with no furniture, no means of cooking and a dog who had only lived outside in a kennel as well as not having my two cocker spaniels.

It started to snow and the car never moved for 5 weeks. Looking back I do not know how I managed to get through and be in the position I am today. I amazes me how we find hidden strength when we feel we have nothing left. Moss was my salvation as I knew I had to get out of the sleeping bag to walk him and help him adjust to life in a house and without the others.

At one point I had 4 jobs, very little money and most of my "friends" from my old life had disappeared. However I have met some really kind and lovely people over the past 2 yrs who have cared about me, helped me and just been loyal to me. I must admit I had lost faith in people but they proved me wrong.

2 yrs on I have a nice job and still have my regular dogs to groom. I now have some furniture, and things are becoming easier. I have managed to save up enough to finally instruct a solicitor last week which means all my income that has been tied up over the last two years will be released to me over the next 6 months.

BUT at no point have I felt sorry for myself, I have never regretted finally finding the courage to change my life and become the person that I was many years ago. I still have days when I just want to hide away, but they are becoming less and less. It has taken a very long time to stop looking over my shoulder and stop panicing whether I am doing things right or going to cause a row by my actions.

Going through all this has taught me the true meaning of friendship. love and happiness, and I have learnt to be content with myself as I am.

I have also finally after all this time found out what a true loving relastionship is all about, yes there are ups and downs, but its always 50/50 and lots of give and take. Its taken a very special person to gently help me understand that I can make mistakes and I can have off days and just be a normal human being.

I don't normally open up about myself like this, but I just felt that maybe if just one person reads this and it helps them, then its worth it.