An Unwelcome Invitation.

I was invited (frogmarched) into the Guardroom (kitchen) this evening . Was told to have a look at the sink. Did not like what I saw, all the suds, things floating about in it , grease, sharp forks etc,etc. ` It`s about time you had a go at washing up.`
` No need ,says I, the fairies will be along later to do it` `No, No, No, the fairies don`t do the washing up, I`ve done it  and am now not doing it anymore` the CO said.
Most upset at this news. Only been five years since i was told that Santa Claus is not a real person. 
`Now you get on with it` the CO barked. I protested, fired a few shots up into the air, How could a man of my age take on a new skill and my gammy leg was playing up, perhaps i should go upstairs and lye down for a few weeks. `No ,No, I`m not having any of that nonsense.You have got away with it for years, not anymore`.
So , there are no fairies doing the washing up, have only dreamt of this and much more. As Ned Kelly said before the trap door opened `Such is Life`.