My Most Grievous Fault

I swear on my heart's sixteen children that I didn't gnaw ten meticulously jagged holes in the new white lattice panel under your back porch. I'm not skirting around the issue either, I swear! It was my third cousin once removed by marriage - Dyson, yeah Dyson, who done it. He's the perfectionist in the family.

Yeah, right. Dyson lives in Westfield. You're busted, buddy!