Oy! You lookin' at me?!?

Yes, you are!
Hold on a second, what that you're taking out of your bag?
A 350D...
Is... Is that all?
What's the lens? Show me the glass, mate. Can't see no red ring from where I'm standing...
What? Just a kit lens?!?
You kidding me!?
Well, I suppose that there hasn't been that many pro snappers on the pier today...
Ok, let do this and be over with.
What way do you want me to tilt the head? To the right? Like that, is that good?
What shutter speed do you have there? The shutter speed cretin! What, you don't know. You're really wasting my time here.
You buy one issue of Digital Photography, you borrow your grannie's DSLR and you think National Geographic will be sending you Christmas cards, you loser.
How many shots did you take there? Hold on, I'll tilt my head the other way. Do you get the shine in my feathers? Forget about the stones. On me the focus buddy. You hear me, on ME the focus.
What website did you say? Flipfoto? Is that any good?!?! How many hits a day? Is that all?
Ah well, gimme your card anyway, I might check it back in the nest this evening.