like a knife

It's bad news about Dad, meaning a tough, long road ahead.

I was half expecting it, but I don't think He was. Not the enormity of it anyway, and I don't think He will for a few days or even ever.

As a result my head is now officially fuddled - i'm unable to concentrate on anything other than my Mum and the man who is and always will be my Hero and what he is going to have to endure over the coming months. I'm suddenly aware of my heartbeat, and it's kicking like a mule. I feel as though He's on a conveyor belt heading towards the dark unknown and I wish I could hit the button and help Him jump off.


***
Quite fittingly the air this morning cut through the warm smells of hot buttered toast and fresh coffee the moment I stepped outside the kitchen to defrost the car. It was like a knife, and I just sat there in the driver seat waiting for the windscreen to thaw as tears rivuleted down my face.