Missing Mary

It snuck up on me, but while I was throwing the ball for my doggo, it hit me that two years ago on this day, I was saying goodbye to my grandmother in a hospital bed up north. Whether or not she heard me say goodbye, I will never know, but it was time for her poor tired body to be at rest. She lived an amazing life, she was an avid skier and competed in races at lake placid, I have pictures if anyone wants to see, they are so cool. She was THE Baker in our family, birthdays, graduations, weddings and babies, we all expected her cake and fantastic frosting. She passed that love on to quite a few of her children and grandchildren. She had her share of sadness and downright tragedy, but she never let it keep her down. When she lost her husband to an epileptic episode that resulted in my grandfather drowning and was left to raise 6 children alone, she bought a motorcycle and took jobs cooking and in retail to make sure that everyone was fed and warm. She made sure all of her children knew how to take care of themselves and she watched them all turn into strong capable adults with families and challenges of their own. She met the man I've always called grandpa at a bar where her friends say one look at him and they all knew he was hers, he asked her and her friend if one of them wanted to dance and the rest was history (also her girlfriend had split her pants, so she got left at the table until it was safe to leave). The first year of their marriage they bought a big rig and traveled the country as professional truckers, my cousin got to tag along sometimes and was the navigator. She got to meet her first great granddaughter before she passed and they loved each other. I used to refer to her style as 'witchy and wild' and now when I look around I realize I am very much like she was. I love it. I even catch my breath sometimes when I look in the mirror and see parts of her face looking back at me. I let my 18 year old cousin tattoo this piece on my arm, my first tattoo and still just practice for her, in memory of my Grandma Mary, who always fed you, smelled like fresh mountain air and pine and baked goodies, and made sure you went home with a snack. Every gift we got from her had a tootsie pop bouquet in it, just a simple bundle of lollies with a ribbon wrapped around, seems such a silly thing to get a tattoo of. But the day I was heading up to get this, I found a blue tootsie pop in my car randomly, because it's not something I normally purchase for myself. It felt so right to have a lasting reminder of her generosity and simple kindness, and the fact that my baby cousin who also loved Mary drew and inked this for me makes it all the more special. She will be with me always