Horses

So it's been a shocking day, literally. I got up to browse Facebook and one of the first posts was from a friend explaining to everyone that her husband had died in her arms yesterday, suddenly and as far as I know unexpectedly. Now, I have known them both for many years but frankly not all that well, but they're both lovely people and much younger than me.

Out of the blue I went into shock, which is not something that's ever happened before. The blood left my extremities, and my fingers and feet went numb. My peripheral eyesight darkened, I was panting and my heart began pounding like it was about to burst out of my body. There was that 'feeling of doom'. I was barely able to stand, and shook like a leaf!

Writing this now feels like I'm describing someone else, it's now a memory rather than intimately ongoing. And I'm writing it to remember. I had the immediate and convincing understanding that people can truly die of shock. Hours later of course and I'm fine, and this feels all about me when my friend is dead and his wife is dealing with far more than I.

Now, why that all happened, who knows. But there it is. And then this afternoon (despite that) I went to give blood and they couldn't get a full pint out of me. The vein just kept closing up. Damned odd day. The photo is from a calming walk in Westonbirt, where the polo horses are enjoying a muddy break in the sun. one might once have been white...