Park Your Bike

Dear O'H dear and Lovely Tea Jenny,

I went for a drink with a Smashley tonight. We ended up in Cloisters and the chat from the other patrons was definitely more intellectual than I am used to witnessing in establishments that serve alcohol. The table next to us debated the merits of boarding schools whilst the table opposite sat with completely empty glasses for over two hours discussing religion, pausing only to sing a very muted ‘happy birthday’ to one of their contingent.

Smashley and I were slightly squiffy. Our conversation was equally stimulating. It centred round whether it was possible for a guy at the table opposite not to know that he was displaying two inches of @rse crack. Surely he must have felt a draught.

As the conversation deteriorated, Smashely even offered me an incentive of dinner at a Michelin starred restaurant if I could pop his beer mat in the offending slot.

I do like nice food but I chose to decline. I figured the association of a bum might ruin the fine dining experience.

C