Worry

The appointment with the specialist was arranged for two weeks later. She was assured that the chances were that it was nothing serious. She spent the intervening time not allowing her thoughts to dwell on the appointment or its possible outcomes. Occasionally, a thought about how lovely it would be once the appointment was over and everything was fine would come into her head but she would not allow herself to think about that. The consultation might be inconclusive and require further tests and delays and she couldn’t face that prospect now. Just get through this two weeks.

After an eternity, the two weeks were up and it was the day of the test. She woke up feeling mildly elated. Maybe her subconscious was more optimistic than she allowed herself to be?

In the event, the doctor agreed with her subconscious. There was nothing to worry about. Everything was fine.

So why did she not feel the expected euphoria? It was as if all the anxiety that she had not allowed herself to feel had come to the surface. She was now worrying about what MIGHT have gone wrong.