I've Been Caving

I don’t really know where to start.
Suffice to say the Wretched One has behaved appallingly today.

So, I got stuck down a deep rabbit warren on a cliff.  It’s in my nature after all.
She called the Coastguard and the Rangers…so far, so good.
But when the Kindly One returned with their precious bundle of joy (moi),
she told him that she’d been checking out rescue dogs online.
You should have seen the look on the Kindly One’s face.  It was a picture.
She was only joking.  
Apparently...