Super Star...

The villagers start arriving for the turn on of the village lights. There's just one problem; the star for the top of their tree is too big. It was specially delivered by a Navy ship to the harbour and lifted off by a specially hired in crane but....

According to the Cooncil spokesman, (We're proud to represent our ratepayers) the star was ordered by their Leisure and Multi Function, Partner Agency for Thought Leadership and Multi-Ethnicity for Commitment in the Community at Christmas Time. (Removed so as not to offend anyone)

Consequently they have issued a statement claiming that in their continual strivification to provide a world class event and give 120% value for money and focus upon being the leading provider for unique innovative scalability with performance and entertainment has shown their dedication to be a world class multifaceted, paradigm shifting synergistic communtiy group. It is their optimized leveraged opinion that the arboreal provider has provided them with a vertically challenged product in terms of upended metricitous longtitude.

Their statement was of course issued on newsprint from well hugged trees felled humanely without harming any wildlife in the process using chainsaws powered by soya bean derived fuel.

Director for Sustainability and Legacy, Human Relations and Community Care Tsar Fiona MacPrecious Vincent-Smythe commented for the Port Appin Times, "To circle back would be like putting lipstick on a pig. Let's get granular about this, quite frankly, any further disruptive innovation would alienate the elephant in the room. Yah".







A good time to point out that this Port Appin is a totally ficticious place with no intended connections to anywhere or anyone else, of a similar name.