Elbe Street

Of course, the real reason Brexit hasn't happened yet is nothing to do with the back stop, nothing to do with the Customs Union, oh no. Behind the scenes, the real negotiations have been about the free movement of Cigs.

Although there's been no official sightings of Cigs on mainland Europe, Donald Tusk is adamant that this will remain the case. Despite the public perception of this being about the Tory goons wanting to have their cake and eat it, the truth is they all recognise the potential for Cigs in the EU is the greatest bargaining chip they have.  So much so that in Whitehall the word Brexit is never used, but instead the phrase Cigsit* is used instead.

So the 29th March 2019 deadline passes without any clear agreement being reached. The word is Vladimir Putin is set to offer Cigs Russian citizenship to piss of the UK, EU and the USA all in one diplomatic coup. You heard it here first.

*Not to be confused with Hibsdit; the act of failing dismally after showing considerable promise as characterised by Hibs FC.

Thanks to the ever wonderful meles who pointed me in the direction of this find.