Pasta all understanding...

A recent survey of British people, concluded that one of the things we shall most miss post Brexit (try saying that after 3 G&Ts), is pasta, which will, of course, be illegal to import after April the 12th/30th/May/August/2028.....whenever.

If you know your history, you will be aware that (contrary to what those rascally Italians like to think) it was the Chinese who invented pasta, and Sr Marco Polo brought it back to Italy in the 13th Century.

A lesser known fact, is that his brother, fellow traveller Sr Alfysda Polo, brought it here to Scotland, where the locals spat it out, declaring that haggis ravioli was an abomination! (It wasn't until the 15th century that we embraced the concept of macaroni pies!)

But now that pasta is going to be banned from these shores, we're having to start making our own, and as any eejit knows it's actually very easy. All you need is a pasta machine (check the back of your sideboard - it's behind the courgette spiraliser) and some flour. However - and here's the problem - you can't just make your tagliatelle from any old flour. Call me Fanny Cradock, but your ancient bag of self-raising won't work. You need proper 0/0 pasta flour, which until now, we didn't make in the UK.

Today though, the enterprising Lothian farmers are planting fields of durum wheat, ready for the pasta boom. And the reason those furrows are so deep (please see extra photo) is because this field is going to be full of wheat for spaghetti.....and obviously, those stalks have to be extra long.

There. Don't say I teach you nothing!!!!