K.I.T.T.Y.

My Dear Fellows & Dear Princess,

I have nothing much to report from today. I've been parsing addresses but it is not my fault. My lovely, lovely effing colleagues decided they wanted to "standardise" addresses which have been resolutely non-standard since the dawn of time, it seems. 

Consequently I'm trying to work out how to take a big pile of shitey gobbledygook from old systems and turn them into standard addresses. 

If I sound unhappy, I am not, but that's only because I am a sad bastard who likes playing with spreadsheets to work out this sort of thing. But my lovely, lovely efffing colleagues don't know that, so they are SELFISH.

However, Lemon redeemed herself by telling me she used to be the "Designated Sober Person" in her youth. She couldn't be the designated driver (because she was only 12) but when her older cousin went out drinking with her mates, she liked bringing Lemon along too. 

Lemon's job was to sit next to Drunken Driving Cousin and to go "hey, wake up" every time Drunken Driving Cousin lost consciousness. Sometimes Lemon would even have to turn the wheel for her, to avoid oncoming traffic. 

Honestly, even hearing this story gave the latent parent in me the cold sweats. 

But one night, before Drunken Driving Cousin had a chance to get drunk, they were driving along and they noticed the car behind had oscillating red lights at the front, like K.I.T.T. from "Knight Rider".

Then, blue and red lights flashed at the top. It was an unmarked police car, but still the girls didn't realise. "Oh hey, he's got them up top too! Cool!"

"PULL OVER!" Came a voice from the police car tannoy.

"Why didn't you pull over when I flashed my lights?" asked the cop when Drunk Cousin pulled over. Before Drunk Cousin had the chance to answer, Lemon leapt in there for her.

"'Cos we thought they were car lights like on 'Knight Rider' and we thought they were really cool. Hey do you know if you can get lights like that from Bunning's Warehouse? My bro would like them for his car in back in Porirua?"

"Sssshh!" hissed the Cousin.

"I noticed you were speeding through an amber light back there," said the cop.

"Oh yeah," said Lemon, "but she only did that to get through before it turned red. She slowed back down after."

"SssshhTTTT!" hissed the Cousin.

"Hey, is this going to take long 'cos I'm missing my dinner," added Lemon.

Apparently a stern talking-to and a ticket and a fine later, Lemon found she had been fired as "Designated Sober Person". The latent parent in me breathed a sigh of relief.

S.

p.s. This is a picture Caro took earlier in the day of Punky being just adorable, next to his toys and his play box. I meant to take a picture of something on my way home, but the Cable Car was unexpectedly closed so I ended up taking a taxi and therefore missed the opportunity. 

I did consider taking a picture of me sitting on my big lazy arse instead, but Punky is cuter.