Back in the jungle

Welcome to Forced Smiles & Small Talk Ltd. Please take a platitude and someone will speak earnestly to you as soon as possible...

I'd known it wasn't going to be easy. But just one hour into my working day, the tension was becoming unbearable. I could feel it building, making me feel self-conscious about every word and gesture.

I remembered last year when Julie in the office had lost her mum. Of course everyone felt sorry for her, but it was difficult to know what to do for the best - whether to risk upsetting her by saying something, or look unfeeling by saying nothing. And what could you say? Her mother had been young, the death totally unexpected, and they'd been close.

There was nothing meaningful to say - well, nothing I could find, anyway.

Julie had seemed to have some protective bubble around her, separating her from the rest of us.

Right now, I think I had some idea of how she might have felt. On the surface, my colleagues were showing concern and giving me sympathetic looks - but I couldn't help feeling like the sick or injured animal at the edge of the herd.

How would I react? What would I do? I felt everyone's eyes on me. And knowing that I might be overreacting, even a little paranoid, didn't really help.

I couldn't bear the tension any longer. I stood up, slightly awkwardly and unnaturally, and cleared my throat.

"Right," I said. I could feel the silence.

"Who wants a cup of tea?"



Story begins here.