Solstice... I Think!

"Aw, come on Inspector."

"Look Sargent, I've told you already. NO BATON CHARGES!"

"But Inspector, the lads have been lookin' forward to this all year! And there's no feckin' bonuses. Have ye' no Christmas spirit?"

"Look, you saw the letter from Headquarters in the station..."

"I know - 'Crustys are tourists too'. Bloody blueshirt liberals up in the Park. God be with the days of McDowell."

"Exactly, they're tourists! And how are they going to spend all their money if you have them queuing in the Lourdes A&E all day..."

"But look at them - they're asking for it! Look at yer man on that rock - reading a feckin' Guardian! And him over there. There ought to be a law against those feckin' rasta beanies, at least on pensioners. And the bloody drumming. It's like the chants they use in riot training. I tell ya', the lads are all primed and ready to go..."

"Look, it's out of my hands. Best I can do - if they don't stop all this new-age shite by 11, I'll let you have a go of the water cannon!"